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BOOK ONE, PART ONE- recommended for most 1st,13th, and 27 1/2th dimension readers. Edit

INTRODUCTION Edit

I love books that obfuscate the journals, newspapers, pamphlets, and brochures. Those authors are often placed within the literature they were studying in a historical context,  one example being by discussing the important events in agriculture of the year in which the literature was published (watch SpongeBob for an example). this combined with the fact of how interesting the history actually is inspired me to write this- the first 100% accurate recording of the past years. the only problem is that some time periods are unknown and I solved this by pointing out that they are theories or skipping the topic altogether.  However, while some author's goals are included in this single paper, trying to bring that source into the agricultural literature discussion by connecting three agricultural handbooks from the nineteenth century with nineteen cent pineapple and cheesecake apple sauce with whipped cream was an entire flop.  I provide an account of a bunch of important events in the world's agricultural history: lobster population and hi-tech technological changes (like j-plows), growing politics (I had too), the distribution of scientific new knowledge, and farming’s influence on mathematical education, all without the weird flavored pudding and new improved techniques that are sure to make this a great history book. I knew that I would need some expert advice to help write this book. Eventually, I went to a local 7-11 to check out some statistics. I talked to the saleswoman and listened to her carefully. She had a lot of very helpful suggestions and not only helped me with the paperwork but also sold a brand new car! I also touch on some history I got from Canada during its depression and, to complete my round trip, I also got info on the Night Order of Knights ( founded by an 18th century clock maker; its rules, established by a poet with a flair for jazz, moved to backgammon version 2, a game more similar to chess with more death and bar graphs. they established a banking system, which persecuted the French King Knights [a Knight]. he was put in power due to the fail by an innkeeper who's rules was established by his unborn great grandson[they played with their food a lot], the move of japan to Rhodes and later to the Atlantis conquered by Napoleon in 1798 with Invisible Ninja Knights [ink was their code name, as it was a top secret held by the government]- founded by Germans, and a freak slipper accident).

CHAPTER ONE: HISTORY THAT IS NEEDED FOR THIS BOOK Edit

It all started by a British politician who served as the President of the United States of Canada from 2997 to 2007 and the Leader of a gang Party from 1994 to 207 B.C. Together with Korea, he initiated the third zombie apocalypse and the Secret Macaroni War (until its reveal in 2132, whereupon it was afterwards acceptable to call it macaroni war 2)  acts which remains highly controversial. From 1111 to 1999, it was America's time to mess up. a badger was the Member of Parliament for the supreme court mark two (don't ask) and was elected for Party leader in July 1234, following the sudden death of his predecessor, a cat. Under sir badger's leadership, the party used the phrase "indentured servitude", to eat all the lasagna in the world. Guess who stopped it. sir badger only escaped because Monday rolled around. the people, thinking they could do no worse, declared support for a new conception that birds don't care for lasagna, involving politics that recognized individuals as idiots, and advocated social confusion, equal worth of leech citizens, and opportunity. Critics of the elected bird (Larry Jaycaw) denounced him for having the government abandon genuine care, instead practically giving away guns. In May 1297, the rest of the world won a landslide general election victory, the largest in its history, allowing a cat, 3 years old, to become the youngest leader. In September 1297, the cat attained popularity, receiving a 98.329% public approval rating, after his public response to the great dog massacre. he went on to win two more elections under his leadership: in 1298, in which it won an actual landslide victory( the 1st thing he did was commemorate the runners and ban elections from happening directly next to mountains), and in 1299, with a majority. In the first years of the government, the cat's government introduced the first steps to world peace. however, the bird's government carried out the counter attack by assassinating the cat with an Abraham lincoln clone and assuring a bird would get the presidency. luckily, the bird Mark was chosen, one of the few birds to care about anything. Mark faked strongly supporting the USA and ensured that British Dance Squad participated in the 1300 invasion and used it to push the bird controlling the USA out of office, and more controversially, ran an election of only the least corrupt candidates (at the time, a cat, a guy, a shark, a zombie, and his great grandson). Mark faced strong criticism for his role in the invasion and reelecting a leader, including calls for having him tried for crimes despite his overall help for humanity. in 1345, many newspapers strongly criticized his actions and described the invasion for the forced re-elect as unjustified and unnecessary, and Mark's deputy sheriff prime king Kell(who, after a nuke burned his skin and organs off, put an "s" in the front of his name and a "y" at the end) described the act as a needed illegal. In the aftermath of this, Mark was assassinated by his brother for 3$. A quick void formed, as whoever was elected first would essentially be king of the world. this motivated a group of corrupt cats to buy, cheat, lie, and steal the way to the election. the leader of this group, Larry Jaycaw, had succeeded as the leader of the USA and the, therefore, world on 24 June 1422. Over the next days, however, the world rebelled and signed a Prime Intelligent Sinister, and he was appointed the official king of the empire on the Middle of Africa, which he held until 27 May 1499, when the great wars ended and the world was a single big messy democracy. with no more world wars, the average homeowner having as many guns as the criminal, and new technology that could bring people back from the dead, the world fell apart while staying the most together it had ever been- and every apocalyptic event just strengthened the world as one solid group. there were still a couple problems, and of course, this being humanity we are talking about, I, of course, mean many, but luckily, you don't win wars by being an idiot, and the last command of the Prime Intelligent Sinister was to divide the world back into its former countries and have common sense keep the world from starting a war against themselves again. At least for petty differences( such as point of views), since death could basically be avoided altogether. This was the last part of the needed information until a USA election in which Sally Acachalla, an adopted daughter of Papa Stacy-Lincoln Acachalla (that old war guy everyone hated and is somehow still famous- yeah, him) was elected for about 33 1/2 seconds before a secret redo of the election. Sally won the redo too but was deemed unfit for president hood and was instead put in the vice president position- before resigning because the vice president did not free waffles. unfortunately, the damage was already done- several of the things she promised to the adoring public during her campaign was already on bills and sent down to the Arkansas community college to be judged, passed to the fifteenth 3/4 supreme court, and canned to be shipped to Wyoming to bottle and declare official. Most of the bills (the 1,389 about waffles. yes, she did manage to send 1,391 bills in less than a minute- just be lucky she didn't have enough time for all 10,000) were declined, but the other two were officially passed: Papa Acachalla dollars (nicknamed P.A.D.) were to be a real currency and Buck rake's where only for agronomic purposes and that modified winnowers would take their original purpose. the first bill caused a boom in the economy as a lot of people got tricked by that guy and the introduced "worth as much as you will take for it" P.A.D. added a more free/tradable good market, and the second billed temporarily stalled, conflicted and confused the farming community.

CHAPTER TWO: THE EFFECTS OF THESE EVENTS AND WHY Edit

Before this all had happened, the easiest way to farm was very long and complicated.

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Keep in mind this was a basic wheat farming technique for its time, and they did not have the equipment we had, like the xylophone, which led to easy full-scale automation. Image one

this was also before an old computer scientist used his genius to figure out that the simple wheat farms, made of seeds, dirt, water, and sunlight, that was for centuries regarded as inefficient could, in fact, be very efficient, which set off a farming boom, and happened with funding from sir badger. image 2

The next important thing happened in the reign of the bird, as his "I don't care policy" allowed for scientists of all amounts of sanity(or without any at all) to do anything they wanted, which is why we have the technology to come back from the dead and travel through dimensions without bargaining with demons or going to ancient temple-things. being able to go through dimensions significantly increased production of practically everything, as having an infinite number of dimensions means that there's an infinite amount of universes made of entirely of say, bricks(keep in mind this is an example). during mark's kingship, however, taking things directly through dimensions was banned after the mayor of south Tennessee made an autumn salad and set his house on fire, causing the fire department make a portal to the water dimension and nearly flooded the state before they were able to close the portal. mark strongly supported this, meaning farming was still allowed in other dimensions, just not taking. This was another very controversial act as this was the same mayor who's life goals were as follows: " ...Earn money! Earn more money! Get a house! Get a second house! Get a car! Get a second car! Get a fleet of cars! Become mayor! Use the fleet of cars to battle Jon Hemfury! ..." (exert from chapter 9 paragraph 6 of his book ON LIFE GOALS AND WHATS IMPORTANT) then came the wars- it was not uncommon to have your army march through dimensions wrecking the other sides farms, and an accidental few of their own- this dimensional hopping allowed some species to come back from extinction- most of which were pests, such as the lettuce squirrel or the definition of uglies, though a few, not pest creatures made it through this random hopping, such as barrels or lake chickens. The next event that affected things in a huge way is the two-way war- the war between the Prime Intelligent Sinister and Larry Jaycaw and the temporal farming ban.

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__________________________________________loaded_______________________________________________The next event that affected things in a huge way is the two-way war- the war between the Prime Intelligent Sinister and Larry Jaycaw and the temporal farming ban.  This was effectively and efficiently set up in 1902 when Larry set up his first business and school to lessen the effects of the ongoing war and keep the people under his control from revolting. the makeshift services were nearly immediately listed as a -16 on a scale from ten to one by the critics.as a backlash to the critics, larry started selling the personalized ID number plates that acted as protection of one's identity. That didn't work, and his rating fell further than ever. To solve this dreaded problem, he did an extremely logical thing- after disbanding the overall parliamentary executives, he turned America over its head by turning it into a dictatorship and disbanding all the schools and making all businesses government run or nonexistent. obviously, the jury gave him three strikes, but unfortunately, he won overall, at 14 runs to null, home team. the private sector put up more of a fight, refusing baseball for a match of both golf and American football. he accepted their offer before literally steamrolling over their players and as such, won by forfeit. However, as many will tell you, power is of over others, and as such, this means that the worst dictatorships and the best democracies are the most stable governments. and fortunately for us, you can't turn one from the other easily. farmers went on strike and rebelled- and most ended up shot and not revived, leaving the entire country of America starving. larry was not one to be upstaged, however, and started stealing food from both the rest of the world and food rich dimensions and banned farming in his own dimension. the few farmers left kept on rebelling, now by growing food and teaching others about the joy of agriculture- this lead to more people being knowledgeable about farming and what size shoe to put on in the morning. this also lead to more compact and efficient farms, as people needed to hide something fit for feeding up to twenty people in their house or apartment. this dictatorship status and division between the ruler and the people soon meant that the Prime Intelligent Sinister had spies and supporters everywhere.the people outsmarted larry by slowly switching out all the peasants of his offices with British descendants and immigrants so that the Prime Intelligent Sinister could finally muster the amazing dance squad comprised of exactly 3 1/17 people to go in and British disco the opposition to victory. this is when, as you heard, the war being won, the Prime Intelligent Sinister split the world back into it's intended parts and reaffirmed local governments over supreme ones, except for a few places, where he instated a different government over the same boundaries and quit to retire to a nice vacation home in Paris, Florida.

BOOK ONE, PART TWOEdit

CHAPTER ONE Edit

For all those wondering, "what is this book talking about? in my history textbook, it just spits out mumbo jumbo about evil uncle larry's and the lawyer massacre of 1327 when two lawyers got into a zombie V.S. vampire Debate in the middle of a court case." to which I say the following: what about the 6 year gap between the Digital Age and the Addendum Age? But now we must divert from our serious discussion- and discuss the after-death virus. before I begin, allow me to take note that It seems as though zombies are coming increasingly more popular in pop culture as time goes on. Countless movies, books, video games, mistitled sub-genre sombrero's, and even TV shows based on zombies have dated to 1931 when the first zombie fan fiction came out. Allow me to state that it was not an entirely pleasant one either- and not from bad plot or writing. But have you ever wondered where the ideas of the un-death of dead people came from?  the first experiments, obviously. besides the randomly occurring magical time powers of certain family lines( such as the Snave family, the Larry family, and the Smigglebug family), there were two ways of avoiding death: sign your soul to a demon, devil, cockatiel humanoid creature, a fairy snowball, etc. (full list in Appendix A) and/or BE SOMETHING THAT CANNOT DIE (such as timelords). Then, leaping for the green light: Donk's reign. Science- in its now limitless form, caught up, meaning now all those who could afford it, steal it, or otherwise get it (cafe, anyone?) could live to never die. Now, the after-death virus almost caused global extinction 34

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